“pirate…not pilot…”


I cleaned out my closet the other day.  Threw away seventy five percent of shit I’ve kept for a very long time, convincing myself that I didn’t need these things to help me remember historical facts about myself.

It was a sad day, but I like doing that sometimes.  Purposefully thinking or doing anything that will make me awfully nostalgic.  It’s like when people like to smell their own nasty.

I put a shit load of clothes into trash bags and successfully sold.  Drove back home and realized I needed them for an audition this morning:

Wardrobe: “hard rapper type wear (gansta) for 1st shoot”  (what does gansta mean?)

Unfortunately, stupid workers at thrift stores like to buy shit that I wore in high school.

I found a bandana, all that I had that was “gansta”.  Put it on with an outfit. Surprised my mom last night to see what her initial reaction would be.

“You look like a pilot!”

“No I don’t.  I’m suppose to be a gangster.  I don’t look like a gangster?”

“hm….no.  You look like a pilot.”

So I’m in front of the camera this morning, opposite a mirror, and I’m trying to look “sorrowful” because that’s what the director wanted, and then it hit me right across the fuckin face.  Dude….I look like a pirate.

Whatever, pilot was informative enough.

Well, there goes another audition…

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  • "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson