sense memory


When I was younger my mother sat to my left.

On a small chair with a cushion and two arm rests.

This is where I learned patience.

Of all the things in life that I treasure the most, it’s these beginning moments that I remember as a child that all lead up to specific events, events with requirements.

For some reason, I’d always fulfill these requirements.  Which helped me complete each event, which in turn helped me jump over some river bends, climb several mountains, and leap off cliffs.

I’m only twenty-four and sometimes I feel like I’ve learned all that there is to learn by sitting next to my mother, who taught me all the tricks.  Fancy ones that gave me the ability to learn tricks from other people.  And the ability to rediscover how my dad carried me.

When I was younger my dad carried me.

On his back through swap meets in Pasadena.

He taught me the beauty and destruction of selflessness.

And how the manifestation of unconditional love is painful but rewarding at the same time.  Triggering memories of myself as a child, I find my dad’s role as a father superhuman.

To feel without words, to express without action, and to understand without tangibility.

Am I capable of performing?  Am I up to par?  These are the years that test whether or not I’m going to even come close.  Close to being able to make sacrifices that they’ve made that allowed me to think the way that I choose to think today.

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2 Comments

  1. this is the most beautiful and real thing i’ve read in a long time. it’s the perfect display of the beauty in life. i’d publish this if i could.

  2. man, this year is gonne be such a year of trials and growth. i just feel it.


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  • "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson