My parents brought over Napolean yesterday…
For those of you who don’t know him, he’s an incredibly intelligent Dachshund who deeply perturbs you when you initially introduce yourself.  

“Hey little man!” ~YOU

“Who the fuck is this guy?” ~NAPOLEAN


My mother will accidentally call him “Lawrence” or “didi”, names that were given to me at birth, now loosely thrown at this black animal (yes I’m being racist), who only sun bathes and does nothing but.  

I’ve become slightly envious.

Stories of his bad behavior are centralized topics at the dinner table:

“Your mom cooked so much food.  He found his way onto the table and ate all of it in a matter of seconds.” ~GARY KAO

“Your dad couldn’t sleep last night.  Napolean kept complaining downstairs because no one would sleep with him.” ~AMY KAO


Nonetheless, my parents find a way, supernaturally easily, to turn his crimes into nothing less than modest incorruption.


“I used my Subway coupons and bought a bunch of footlongs.  Napolean ate all of them while I wasn’t looking.” ~GARY KAO

        Retorts:  “Wow, he has a really big appetite.”
                         “It’s okay.  Subway is really healthy.” 



Interestingly enough, Gary and Amy Kao aren’t raising Napolean to be or think a specific way.  They’re simply teaching him how to be himself.

and Napolean is fucking happy.
and I am fucking happy.  

It is all about perspective.
I don’t know where my parents got it from, but they have a good one.



  1. Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time! 🙂

  2. Napoleon is very special, Here staring at me right now knowing that I am talking to you. I am glad I’m not eating anything otherwise would be humping my leg!

    • haha you guys are still down here? Thought you guys went back already.

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  • October 2012
    M T W T F S S
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  • "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson